If that was your dad, he is hot
I am going to invent a chocolate mix for sperm.
i love how you can even make your typing come across bitchy
they started playing Don't Stop Believin' and you had a melt down because it wasnt the Glee version
I am watching the symphony and have decided that violin players probably give really good hand jobs.
He was from Iceland of course I didnt sleep with him, havent you seen Mighty Ducks 2???
Well I disagree, 3 different men in my bed over my birthday was the perfect way to say goodbye to my childhood innocence
We are doing handstands and somersaults in the pool. With an inflatable beer pong table and our regular beer pong table. We're ponging by land and by sea
I just want to have beer shits in my own bathroom. Is that too much to ask for?
She really has to stop the coke at some point. Won't she run out of money eventually?
Won't she run out of nose eventually?
Quick how do you hit on a guy in the car behind you? It's important.
My boyfriend's brother just got out of jail and he is already telling us to steal cable. Dude.
I want to be "performing a disservice to society by actually wearing clothes in public" hot.
No one wants to start their day off with bloody lemons and a tampon in the toilet. Wtf.
I woke up in my bed with candy and beer bottles all around me and i dont know where any of it came from. I love valentines day.
Randomize
