So now everyone thinks I don't know what a condom is
Dude that chick in the corner just threw up
Hot
Is it possible to jerk off a nipple?
get your tongue out of his mouth and answer your phone. if your not doing more than making out i'm gonna be so pissed. i'm about to sleep in your car bitch
like if they didnt have tits and vagina, they have no idea how uninteresting to us they would be
Pretty sure that Albanian broad gave me something last night. Now we play the waiting game.
The difference between what I would do for a regular Klondike bar and an Oreo flavored Klondike bar is astounding
If the EMT's ask later... I had 5 hour energy for breakfast and Four Loko for dinner... It might be important for them to know that
I am sweating out the vodka to make room for the whiskey tonight.
I don't know. I was also picked up by the doormen and held over the bar so I could do an upside down shot out of a bartenders tits.
You may or may not of thrown up on your shoes, and you tried to give me a wet willy in my eye.
He tried to use a signal flare to light the bong
And?
He melted the stem
It was fine until they started lighting shots of everclear on fire and making ME take them. That's when shit went down...
Remember that time a drunk Dracula took a shit in the urinal? Ooh, that's right, it was last night.
He's such a neat freak that he started making the bed while I was still laying on it naked. He succeed in case you were wondering.
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