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this should be fun to decipher. I'd like to buy a vowel.
The university put out a message about those missing salt and pepper shakers... You should at least give back 60 of them.
She literally thanked me for asking before I put in her ass
things I have learned from cosmo today- 40% of guys are uncircumsized, you can have a beer facial, and i really need to get tested for std's
The pet store wouldn't sell us fish because they said they could tell we were drunk.
Fuckkkk i made out with a freshman.....but he's old for his age. THIS IS WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOURE NOT AROUND.
I just don't understand how a line to ride a camel on a college campus could be too long for you to wait in.
Some girl, somewhere, is going to wake up with my face paint on her vagina
I though us hooking up in the field was your way of saying you were an outdoors person
I decided staying home, watching porn and masterbating was a much better choice than the gym. And I was right.
On celebration of the Supreme Court ruling I feel it is our patriotic duty to have a threesome
Molly was fun. I was in a captain planet onesie in Wal-Mart talking to everyone haha
he sneezed into my face mid-kiss
Bless his heart
I've been rehabbing my soul with cheese and wine lately
I woke up completely naked in a mint condition 71 chevelle in someones garage. What.
Randomize
