You Definitely drank the goldfish bowl like it was a giant margarita
Okay I'm all about any plan that ends with "We're gonna get you drunk."
he's drinking at 8 in the morning. it's going to be one of those "or else the terrorists have won" kinda days
I've already come up with two plans that will probably end with me getting kicked out of here. You guys should come faster.
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I went up to get a drink from the hotel room. And ended up getting arrested in the lobby. Spring break has not been forgiving this year.
Idk if you remember me telling you about him, but I gave him a hj under the stars. Kind of added a little disney aspect to the whole experience.
I think I broke a hole in her wall trying to do backflips
You're in a tuxedo, you can pee wherever you want.
You were face down in the punch bowl, humming the theme to jaws
That explains the stains on my shirt
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I said "I am wrapped in the Cocoon Of Comfort! You should go." He started to argue and I yelled "COCOON OF COMFORT!!!" silencing him
I knew it was going to be good when he took off my bra and I only realized 5 minutes later
He was making Jim beam nachos. Chips soaked in whiskey with cheese
AND WHAT FELONIES DID I MISS OUT ON WHILE SLUMBERING!?
No, I'm just drunk and was excited cause a hot stranger bought me tacos.
Clothing is a burden necessitated by propriety.
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