Seriously, I'd take them all over any of the milfs here...and you know how much that means coming from me
I just saw a dog and thought "Hey! A goat!" Then realized it was a dog. Now I'm sad.
She transformed our coors light pitcher we stole from the bar into a fruit basket...
you should have seen his reaction to my boobs, it was like he just met god
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sometimes you have to go after what you want
true. and i really want to cum
trying to imitate man vs food after 12 shots doesnt mean youll get laid
The fairy wings and cowboy hats were not the issue. The bag of cocaine that I held in the air as we drove in the parade might have been.
The first clue should've been that he literally had shit in his hair. How does that even happen?
those kids just got delivered to the party by the pizza guy
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's easy on the eyes, light on his feet, and rough in bed...what more could a girl ask for in a rebound?
I swear if he puts my hand anywhere near his dick tonight I'm "accidentally" leaving all my rings on
We were banging then all I remember is coming down hard and smashing my top teeth off his forehead. I just rolled off and tapped out. Done-zo
We just broke my bed mid-sex, laughed, then continued. If that isn't true love I don't know what is.
You passed out and I didn't draw a penis on your face. Sister of the year.
PS I almost downloaded grindr to see if any guys wanted to buy me chinese food..
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