we need to go to the store. i'm tired of having bud light for breakfast.
do you want me to pick up budweiser instead?
i'm pretty sure the only people calling it "sexting" are ones who don't actually do it
We have video of him nailing the sex doll to my wall and putting all the monopoly pieces in her nose
Well idk about you but my nose is all recovered for the weekend.
im sure shes a lovely person but i cant be friends with someone that doesnt drink. its just not right.
Stop banging my friends. This is getting weird.
Stop being friends with hot 18 year old girls.
You. Me. Frosting and a bed. Lets do this.
I'm just over here all sober hanging with two high people talking about how they're "free-spirited stallions."
Out of everyone here, the sober one caught the cat on fire.
also, am i correct in guessing that advertising the size of my hypothetical penis is a turnoff to him?
Have you ever been so high that you felt like corduroy? I'm at that level.
Hypothetically speaking, at what point does fire become too much fire?
He’s 21. The president of his frat. I’m 28 and have a career!
Do it. It’s a noble position.
I don’t mind that he’s uncircumcised. It’s the fact that he talks about the Bible immediately after we have sex .
Get ready for me I'm full of tequila and I want to be full of you next
Randomize
