he was uncircumcised...I HAVE NOT YET REACHED THAT SKILL LEVEL OF DICK
he had more hair on his balls then in my Easter basket
the only reason why im excited to go home for break is to finally eat real fucking food and have normal bowel movements.
Every perfect package comes with a warning label.
He said "ride me pocahontas" while I was on top of him last night
And then I learned that we are dating when I said it's out of line to bring fuck buddies home to meet the parents. And then I was single.
he's doing fine. just headbutted the wall and threw up
definitely just forgot to put car in park in front of a police officer and ran into a bush.
If you die first, I'm going to sleep with a pallbearer at your funeral.
There is blood on my sheets, we apparently used 8 towels, everything in my shower is knocked down. Wut?
Medically speaking as your gynecologist and your girlfriend, that is not a rash.
And we're breaking up
I masterbated to the rocky theme song. I'm pretty sure that just beat any sex experience I've ever had.
Just walked past the field playing Jesus music with a fanny pack full of condoms and beer. Happy Sunday.
You just had sex during the movie Radio. This is an all time low
He was the perfect gentleman on our first date. Took me out for candlelit dinner at a fancy restaurant, held open the door, walked me home, and made me cum three times before he got his.
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