first missing my period. then crying at the clinic... but why?
we had sex 3 months ago. you missed your period 2 weeks ago. but nice try.
How was Slumdog? Did it pull your heartstrings?
It was entertaining. Better than most other Mexican films.
If it has a penis then it will be stupid. Just how it works.
im having a hard time not telling ppl about ur bathroom story
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
well after we realized that his best friend and my twin sister were hooking up it was kind of an unsopken agreement that we would too
Housing is going to charge us for any broken dishes/glassware. Steal as many glasses as you can from the bars tonight. I got the baking dish and 3 plates covered.
You tried to call "time out" during the sobriety test.
This could help me cancel out guys. First 4 that text me get to stay in the loop. And the last one gets the boot. We'll do this til there's only one man standing
They wouldn't let me hang out the sun roof and sing apple bottom jeans in the drive thru of hardee's i think i no longer like these ppl
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I puked on myself in front of a customer. all. over. myself. thanks Saturday nights
That's actually a fantastic idea... The kinky sex dungeon will be vastly improved by the addition of a lightsaber
My alarm went off and I went straight for your dick. That's dedication.
My boyfriend's brother just got out of jail and he is already telling us to steal cable. Dude.
Her hotness level dropped from an 8 to a 2 as soon as I walked into her place. It REEKED of cat piss and there was no litter box and NO CATS.
So it turns out high me is very efficient. I set 5 alarms to remind me to do things, i made mac and cheese, and i wrote a poem. I'm going places.
Randomize