My therapist says she wants to work on my 'trust issues'. I think she's found the cash cow within.
Too bad my thesis topic isn't "defining a hot mess: a study in drinking, smoking and other bad life decisions."
i feel this outfit says i'm better than you, but i might give you a handjob behind a building
i was playing the convince him im sober game through texting. i spelled most of the words right. i hope.
Just got a blow job while taking my online quiz. How is life in the dorms treating you?
The president of the frat said he was honored to award me "Best Overall Blow Jobs", free admission to all their future parties, and a $20 gift certificate to Denny's. I'm not sure if I feel proud or if that's just the burrito coming back up...
Also, what are the symptoms of syphilis?
Update... last night a man tried to bite my ear. I think he swallowed my pearl earring.
You don't realize it's a small world until your ex girlfriend's dad unintentionally messages you on grindr..what.the.fuck.
Yeah its great. Whenever we want a new bowl we hand it to Trevor and he clears it in one hit. Definitely one of the benefits to having a swimmer in your circle.
Ive only just recently decided that NOT fucking you would be best for both of us.
The more I think about it, the more convinced I am that I'm the solution to all of T-Swift's guy problems.
After round two, I told him he deserves an award. He bowed and did a princess wave WHILE his dick was still inside me.
Yes, ur purse got stole with our condo keys in it but my slut ass saved us and we had a place to stay, AND I got to choke a motherfucker while riding him. Thats taking one for the team.
Please tell me I did not drink enough whiskey to think that having sex with my boyfriend while his best friend was on the floor next to us was a good idea.
My last one night stand called me today. Apparently I gave him a yeast infection in his mouth. Not sure how I should feel about this.
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