Too much gin, very little bucket
I may have discovered that porn hub is on my top visited sites during class this morning.
I drunkenly sent a picture of my scrotum to the entire baseball team last night
sitting on the counter. eating honey. crying, because coldplay sounds beautiful on the radio. highhhhh as the sky
i think i was tempted to text while we were making out. like i remember holding my phone up behind his head and just staring at it.
Second day of summer classes and i already got this girl to send me nudes during class
that is WHY your in summer classes
worth it
As a fat white girl from Texas I can honestly say that she gave fat white girls from Texas a bad name.
im destined to be single forever. i hope its okay if your kids come and hang out with my cats.
according to the video, you won you first drunken karaoke contest based off of your actual singing abilities and not because you took your shirt! I've never been prouder :)
So hungover im counting my own breaths to make sure im not dead. The odds hurt.
Some guy in the bathroom just took his shirt off and proceeded to tell me the story behind all of his stab wounds. That's what I get for making small talk
I know you're very busy with sleep and things, but when you wake up we need to talk about weirdly shaped penises.
I'm smoking in a kimono on the couch. Bring me gin.
I came home with 30lbs of BBQ last night. I can't pick up women in a bar but I sure can pick up leftovers from a corporate party.
I can't decide which is the most disgusting: emily having sex on the stairwell of a frat, michelle shaving her vagina with a razor she found in a frat bathroom, or me getting fingered on the dance floor by some rando. opinions?
Randomize
