Is it bad that everytime I read or hear "Woo Hoo" I immediately think of sex because of The Sims?
That's the last time I fill my pockets with sushi.
i'm just going to get a pitcher of margarita. sober up by 10. and then do my accounting project
Sending me a thank you card for letting you fuck my sister was completely inappropriate
Nope we're in the ER. He lit himself on fire trying to impress another girl with magic tricks.
What are the signs of a concussion? Please don't freak out.
eta to your mouth 5 minutes
Imma do me. And by that, I mean I'm going to walk across campus still drunk at 9am on a Tuesday.
Cover your phone. Photos of streaking frat guys incoming.
He asked me not to hook up with anyone else because it would hurt his feelings.. while his arm was around his pregnant girlfriend.
My girlfriend is talking to my ex-boyfriend at the bar right now. I REPEAT, GIRLFRIEND IS TALKING TO EX BOYFRIEND RIGHT NOW. GET ME THE FUCK OUT OF THIS PLAACE
Did you leave it the depths of Magic Mike's favorite banana hammock?
"I licked someones beard, because I can."
My mom added me on Snapchat which means I am officially done with Snapchat.
I currently hiding in an upside down garbage can please come find me
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