I just walked through a room full of deaf people and farted i love deaf people
Now that I'm 21, I feel like I'm letting North Dakota down by not being drunk everyday
just found out my horoscope sign is scales. it's like i was destined to be a drug dealer
He said he got a lot of action last night. I asked how much? And he said he got to see down her shirt. Freshmen never cease to amaze me.
you are getting stockholm syndrome from your pubes
I had a dream last night that you and me were eating cheesecake and according to my FATHER I was moaning really loud in my sleep. I seriously have issues.
THERE ARE SO MANY GREAT DICKS IN THE WORLD. HOW DID I NOT DISCOVER THIS SOONER!?
No I am not eating basil off your cock
i dont care how hungover you are, go back to the frat house and get him. HE IS 11.
Do you know anything about the Easter basket sitting on my doorstep filled with porn and peeps?
I just showered sitting down with a sippy cup of water in there with me. It took 40 minutes. That hungover.
Me hangover (as projected). That sounds like a plan. Ill do it for Mexico
You yell at me for giving you beer but not for licking spilled beer off your chest.
Can't tell if it's the drugs or science magic, but I *THINK* that mouse just turned into a squirrel.
beach body workouts will consist of dancing and cocaine, and sugar free redbull
Randomize
