Fun fact: he pulled out my nuva ring while he was fingering me.. he looked really confused at me and it a couple of times, so i just said "surprise! not only is it good for pleasure, it's also really handy for storing plastic toys." I'm thinking he's definately gonna call.
i just woke up naked on my porch, holding the neighbors cat in my arms.
Even My mom was ashamed of me bringing her home, she pulled me aside, and told me i can do better than, "butter faces"
I'm about to take my first shit since thursday. I'm scared. pray for me. If I don't make it, tell my family I love them.
you came downstairs saying you were now 'dressed to impress'
what was i wearing?
nothing
you threatened to puke on the table cause they didnt serve eggs Benedict
I just remembered I opened the taxi door when I was at a red light last night and puked. And then when I was done I closed the door and told him he may proceed with caution.
So I've gone into the break room to heat up a styrofoam cup 8 times over the course of 4 hours.. that desperate to see him. Now I have a broken heart AND cancer.
Ever have those mornings where you just can't wait to puke in the shower?
I FINALLY HAVE A REASON TO DYE MY PUBES BLUE!!!
I'm a sociology major remember
Well that and comm
Basically you majored in how to get laid
She introduced me as that girl Nathan was fingering
my paper on vitamins just turned into a 2 hour tangent google search on what i should buy to best cure a hangover. I need to stop getting high before homework
Tbh the only thing I was fully concerned about from the dream was what type of fucked up parallel universe doesn't have Coca-Cola
Slowly dying because of my period and my phone is mocking me because I have 69% battery
Randomize
