ok so i jsut did the walk of shame with this random guy that i had sex with at the hotel party, and the lady at the front desk said "wow you're just now leavin?"
thats it. im googling how to make you boobs smaller. this is getting out of control.
This guy just walked into class and first thing he did was grab the garbage can, walk to his desk and say "just in case"
I don't care if its bassically 3rd world. A country without a drinking age is a country without a drinking age.
I heard from anne today. She has a broken collarbone and is knocked up. Apparently florida is awesome
The door to door salesmen do not expect you to be drunk at 3 in the afternoon
You screamed "I NEED TO GET THE WHOLE SET!" and then proceeded to try touching everyone's balls in the room
Youll thank me when youre dead an dont have a cat eating your face
We were simultaneously boning chicks 3 feet away from each other. Do you realize how much that upped our 15 year friendship?
Did my married ex-boyfriend really tell me that he prays for me? Fucking Judas
I get stoned and write a 15 page history report in two hours. She gets stoned and cries because she "doesn't know which shade of pink is the real one".
If you hear death cries, thats me singing. Just let me be.
You said if the geese can walk on the lake so can I.
i don't know what it is about you being around kids that makes me want to screw your brains out
That is the creepiest and also the sexist thing you've ever said
i think it's like a sexual celebration of not having kids
It's weird having sex with someone you actually like
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