Texts From Last Night

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  (248): View more from Michigan

  i'm sure her mom would have loved to find out her daughter has herpes via facebook

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  (248): i'm sure her mom would have loved to find out her daughter has herpes via facebook http://tfl.nu/fiya
  Replies (4) Good night (770) Bad night (1285)
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  (604): View more from British Columbia

  I want you more than these girls want KFC

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  (604): I want you more than these girls want KFC http://tfl.nu/a34i
  Replies (37) Good night (3797) Bad night (915)
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  (305): View more from Florida

  I think one day, after evolution kicks in, my sons will thank me for having a 3rd ball. That's how much sex I'm having.

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  (305): I think one day, after evolution kicks in, my sons will thank me for having a 3rd ball. That's how much sex I'm having. http://tfl.nu/q5k9
  Replies (17) Good night (3774) Bad night (1509)
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  (714): View more from California

  He nailed 50 frozen hamburgers to the ceiling last night. Now there are flies every where.

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  (714): He nailed 50 frozen hamburgers to the ceiling last night. Now there are flies every where. http://tfl.nu/my2r
  Replies (17) Good night (1480) Bad night (6890)
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  (405): View more from Oklahoma

  You guys tried to boil water to fill up the empty hot tub. After the fourth trip back with the kettle you gave up.

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  (405): You guys tried to boil water to fill up the empty hot tub. After the fourth trip back with the kettle you gave up. http://tfl.nu/06n7
  Replies (8) Good night (3609) Bad night (1092)
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  (573): View more from Missouri

  My dick was out way too much saturday not to get laid

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  (573): My dick was out way too much saturday not to get laid http://tfl.nu/x6gk
  Replies (7) Good night (1118) Bad night (2941)
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  (270): View more from Kentucky

  and you will have a crown and it will be made of penises and all will bow before you and your glorious penis crown

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  (270): and you will have a crown and it will be made of penises and all will bow before you and your glorious penis crown http://tfl.nu/vz9q
  Replies (14) Good night (3266) Bad night (954)
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  (612): View more from Minnesota

  it was all good until he screamed "for fraaannnceee" on his last thrust

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  (612): it was all good until he screamed "for fraaannnceee" on his last thrust http://tfl.nu/y8q4
  Replies (13) Good night (2340) Bad night (1344)
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  (908): View more from New Jersey

  Dude i swear to christ if he sends me one more pic of a "magnificent dump" im changing my number

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  (908): Dude i swear to christ if he sends me one more pic of a "magnificent dump" im changing my number http://tfl.nu/xbwx
  Replies (5) Good night (663) Bad night (1755)
• Favorite

  (914): View more from New York

  I'm starting to think my role in the world is to inject batshit crazy, mentally unbalanced chicks with a dose of normal sperm.

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  (914): I'm starting to think my role in the world is to inject batshit crazy, mentally unbalanced chicks with a dose of normal sperm. http://tfl.nu/kbjg
  Replies (13) Good night (1557) Bad night (782)
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  (920): View more from Wisconsin

  Heb just said, and I quote, "let's go to Who's On Third and fuck a fishbowl with our mouths. I am going to fuck this van." and then he humped a van.

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  (920): Heb just said, and I quote, "let's go to Who's On Third and fuck a fishbowl with our mouths. I am going to fuck this van." and then he humped a van. http://tfl.nu/upqb
  Replies (3) Good night (767) Bad night (1113)
• Favorite

  (718): View more from New York

  I might have beaten my fastest all time record going from "I really really like this girl" to "fuck that bitch"

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  (718): I might have beaten my fastest all time record going from "I really really like this girl" to "fuck that bitch" http://tfl.nu/8il5
  Replies (10) Good night (1350) Bad night (500)
• Favorite

  (845): View more from New York

  HOW IS IT EARTHLY POSSIBLE TO DO THAT MUCH DAMAGE WITH JUST MY THUMBS?? HOW???

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  (845): HOW IS IT EARTHLY POSSIBLE TO DO THAT MUCH DAMAGE WITH JUST MY THUMBS?? HOW??? http://tfl.nu/wpwb
  Replies (5) Good night (640) Bad night (478)
• Favorite

  (979): View more from Texas

  Debating whether the Plan B I had this morning would go under breakfast or lunch in my food log.

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  (979): Debating whether the Plan B I had this morning would go under breakfast or lunch in my food log. http://tfl.nu/tdyo
  Replies (3) Good night (457) Bad night (899)
• Favorite

  (603): View more from New Hampshire

  I mean, except for the part where I was vomiting up pineapple and hot sauce, it was a really fun time.

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  (603): I mean, except for the part where I was vomiting up pineapple and hot sauce, it was a really fun time. http://tfl.nu/2k9l
  Replies (1) Good night (215) Bad night (344)

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