Dual, econ, hell, shiv, aunt, puppy. 1 out of 6. T9 word needs to learn how to cuss like me.
i passed out on the floor in my hallway and woke up with my dog licking himself 2 inches from my face. my first reaction? envy
i hope the fucking fire crotch burns his mouth
took shots out of a medicine cup. i can get used to college.
21 People Confess What It’s Really Like At An Orgy
I swear god or herbie drove my car home
I have new birth control, three bottles of jack, and some coupons for micky d's. You wanna have that sleepover?
Bad idea pregaming graduation.... she just threw up before walking across the stage... i'm gonna miss this
I got home and laid by the toilet and then alexa laid in the bathtub and sang the preamble while kayla held my hair
Missing part of a tooth cos I tried to open a beer with my teeth, just saw a dude that looked like bill Cosby though so things are looking up
These 15 Honest Illustrations Show What Women Do When No One Is Watching
And all you did was hit on me and do things "for America", so you weren't judged heavily
So I was trying to finish off that sick uv whipped and I chased it with yogurt. Not a good idea
You left a motherfucking bruise. ON MY TIT. How? How do you even. No.
I slept with one of the directors so you would get a good price on the ballroom for your reception. I'm the best MOH. You owe me bitch
Which one of you drunk assholes put a parental lock on my cable box last night? More importantly, what's the pin? I'm missing the UK game.
So Saturday night after 10 drinks I guess he tried to have sex with me and in the middle of it I asked "can you tell I'm faking it!?" and then I sat up and threw up in my hand. That's a sex Win in my books