I think we should see other people.
Already working on it.
It was like a secret agent hookup. No names, swift execution, get in- get out.
It's been over a month and I still can't find the bra I wore out on new years eve.
I just withdrew $200 in ones. I think the teller knew what was up
These 19 Guys Hit The Cougar Jackpot
He told me he was in a Proactive commercial. It didn't seem to work for him but he was buying me shots so I slept with him anyways.
before we left she put a post-it on the floor next to the toilet saying she was a pretty pretty princess
Today needs to die. The mail delivery guy watched me throw up in my yard while taking my chihuahua out in Christmas pajamas at noon. Low point in my life.
I'm imaging you naked, covered in butter. And I gotta say, I'm not impressed.
I'd be careful with that one, she got 86'd from the family dollar while SOBER.
35 Disappointing People Who Failed At Sexting
My life is like a drunken tornado. All over the place and never passing up fat girls
A conundrum I think only you would understand: how to classily post "I need a ride to the liquor store" on one's Facebook wall?
..puke & rally mid art final. HAPPY CINCO DE MAYO!
I just slapped myself in the face with my dildo and I know that's a weird thing to share but I just had to tell to someone omg I'm laughing so hard
we're spending all day in bed drinking spiked eggnog and fucking
She was wearing American flag underwear. How could I NOT fuck her?
You're a true patriot.