$4 taco and $400 parking ticket. i am not a cheap date.
my ultimate dream in life is to have sperm so powerful that it will rival that of jim bob duggar.
It was my first time buying condoms at the liquor store... I was nervous and there were quite a few people, so I tried to do it as quickly and quietly as possible. When I got to the Indian cashier, he took one look at them and said loudly, "Ohhh you gonna get it on tonight, ah?!"
after I pulled back my foreskin she said, "cool like a transformer". I really like her now.
23 Roommates Share Secrets Their Roomie Thinks They Don’t Know
is asking a girl out on a date while in another girls bed in poor taste?
i want to cheat with him just to show his girlfriend what a terrible person he is.
all i remember is screaming butter knifes are for pussies.
Discovered a freckle on my clitoris. What have you done today?
Haha he was not a poor little guy. If he'd talked to me or something I might feel bad. But since I saw him groping other girls as well as myself there's no sympathy coming from me
He's just picking out the right girl. I do the same thing with fruit. Grope them, squeeze them, smell them. I have to know I'm getting quality fruit.
29 Cringeworthy Situations People Realized They Shouldn’t Be In
I'm confused as to why I have a picture of your boobs in response to a photo of my father
Just watched a girl fall down the stair and be to drunk to get up. The only stair in the bar. It's like watching a turtle on it's back.
Look. When I let you cum on my tits don't fuck it all up by going "SKEET SKEET SKEET" it just pisses me off.
I'm sorry if you weren't drunk enough to be peer pressured into the naked dancing/group make out that transpired last night
But, if I start dating you brother, I can't talk to you about the sex anymore!! Like... Can we talk about it anonymously?! I just won't use his name.
Her ex was at the party her housemates were having. He knocked on her door asking how she was while we were going at it. Turns out they were trying to work things out. Don't think I'll ever forget his face when we walked out of her room.
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