I told her I'd give her some of the cream I was using so she didn't get my warts. That's when I realized I was too drunk.
I'm tempted to see how fat I can get before he leaves me. It's obvious we're playing a game of chicken here.
I'm going to do lines of vitamin c I cannot be sick for halloween
I was thinking about getting her an edible arrangement for an engagement gift. You want in?
I'm buying her a drink and not telling her to dump his ass. that's my gift.
FUCK YOU. AH. FUCK BOTH OF US MORE BOOZE.
MAS TEQUILA.
Who the fuck did i sell my right shoe to last night i need to get that back im not walking with one shoe on
Oh okay. That's fine. I'll buy us both dinner when you bail me out
It's a post jail date
Yup. Dog walker, house sitter and mistress to the rich, bored and bi-curious. I've got a nice little operation running.
We're now referring to our nightly Skype time as "strokes of genius." Long distance sucks.
So, left this guys house wearing a #1 Grandpa shirt and I think this is the best sex score I've ever had.
Wanna meet at the diner for breakfast? all I've eaten in the past 24 hours is glitter and penis. starvingg.
Nice. Make him jerk off and tape it. Send it to his woman. I also love that you had another skype date
Why would you ask him if you could lick his chest?
He has a very lickable chest
We were talking about kinky shit, and I suggested a hand job in church.
How'd that go over?
Praise the lord and pass the lotion.
He ate me out in a golf cart while I watched the sunset. You are so right, golf skirts do provide amazing access.
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