Do you think an esthetician would be willing to wax the Chanel Cs into my crotch? That way, whenever a guy gets ready to pound on it I can go "Careful, it's Chanel."
that shit musta been laced I laughed for two hours and everyone looked like penguins
I don't care if he acts like a don't exist 6 days a week. On the 7th day he makes makes my vagina cry. In a good way. Jesus understands.
i can barely draw a stick figure let alone shave a heart into my pubes
i like him when i'm sober AND when i'm drunk.i've been searching for this my whole life
I'm home and safer than post-menopausal sex; you're welcome for the image. And yes, I did just use a semi-colon hammered.
I'm gonna need you to NOT let me play duck duck goose with three racoons in the middle of the street next time.
Just puked up hair, tacos and vodka. Hello Memorial Day weekend.
I just got a nosebleed on a date at the cheesecake factory...
just run out of the bathroom with blood gushing down your face and scream "ITS IN THE CHEESECAKE!!!!!"
You made a course evaluation for your vagina? Wow. You really are a professor now.
You stole a fry from a complete stranger. He wasn't happy. Then you said fuck it and stole the whole poutine and ran down the street while he stared in shock.
I just remembered that we had an in-depth conversation about how it was too stressful to wear pants.
I don't want anything calamari shaped after last night. But I appreciate the Cheerios offer.
would you like to venture to the magical clitoris forest?
Masturbating to the DNC live stream. Not my proudest moment
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