its been so long since i'vebeen laid i've forgotten what a penis looks like. When a guy makes me hot i picture him finishing the job by whipping a multi-setting showerhead out of his pants.
i was so high i thought his mole came off and was flying around
I've spent 9 hours vomitting in the fetal position... how did i stay like this for 9 months?
i just made an omelette with the cheese and ham from a lunchables. and ketchup packets
julia child would be proud.
Mid thrust he tells me that we have bio together
This kid is drunk.
I hope by "this kid" you mean yourself and not some child you have kidnapped and gotten wasted.
It's almost summer. We need to start reconnecting with our home drug dealers.
I'll answer your question with a question: Are you gonna be too high?
She just causally held my limp dick in her hand the entire movie. Her parents were cuddling on the couch too..that brave!
I cancelled the entertainment for your b-day party.... Keep the bouncy castle just in case.
It is not a successful senior year unless you show up to campus without pants at least once, right?
I'm gonna give the church their tithe, and the rest is a down payment on boobs.
How I know I would be an awful mother....I just stirred the bong up with a baby fork. A literal baby fork....
Btw I definitely had pizza sauce on my face, a painful hickey on my neck, and I just remember screaming SISTER WIVES because of the girl's 1997 jean skirt! Wow.
And, by “make you dinner” I mean “have lots of sex and multiple orgasms.” So you should probably eat something and before you come over
And hydrate too
Randomize
