the new roommate knocked on my door this morning holding a bong in one hand and my dennys leftovers from last night in the other. love this kid. Best student housing placement ever.
im the poster child for why you shouldnt play beer pong with wine.
My nipple rings set off the metal detector at the courthouse this morning.
She said I had the biggest dick she'd ever seen. And when you consider how many she's come in contact with, it's kind of like winning the heisman.
He just broke up w his most recent gf again, wish I could message her and be like it's not you he's gay.
I think im gonna bang this 35 year old at a kids birthday party in the bathroom at this house while the kids open the presents.
we've decided whoever is stupid enough to use the condom that's tacked to the wall deserves to get pregnant.
Hey history final, how's it feel to be raped in the ass by my steel cock of ACADEMIC PERFECTION?
you are way too vulgar to be a girl
Its 10:23 on a monday morning and im craving jello shots, this is a problem
But the Super Mario beer pong table is more than appropriate.
I should come with a disclaimer that reads "bad at relationships and defensive when confronted about it"
or maybe "WARNING: picks fights when bored"
Please tell me I didn't try to make out with a 70 year old Romanian man last night ...
if i get arrested im counting on you to get a picture of it
You're like the Miss Manners of anonymous gay sex.
lets face it, we have a liquor cabinet with a designated chocolate shelf
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