please don't text me until you can spell three letter words again.
I have no idea what to do about this. He has a power over me and I think its called his tongue.
woke up outside on the porch naked surrounded by beer cans with a towl around my neck. i must be in heaven cause i've never seen this place before.
it's only monday and im already failing all my classes. i give up. tequila tuesday is my only friend.
If this party got busted it would be an improvement
he got all sad that i was going to fuck his roommate, so i just asked him if it would make him feel better if I let him motor boat me. i am such a saint.
The narcoleptic neighbor conked out while taking her dog out again. Drinking game based on what the dog does and how long she's out. You in?
Im rolling face in a pizzeria. I want to be with people who love me.
Well THAT'S the last time I buy beer and baby wipes in the same Walmart run ... just wanted to shout I USE THEM TO REMOVE MY MAKEUP, YOU ASSHOLES
I do believe that seeing camel toe in leopard print pants at Walmart is the closest I will ever come to going on a safari
Some dude just said my hair smells like his pillows
I had sex with him in the back of my car in a duck onesie. I'm worth something dammit.
How does one tell their boyfriend they're pregnant with someone else's kid??
She is still out of it but keeps saying ur name she said to tell u dinosaurs aren't real but biscuit with a z made bad choices
I'd like to know who hasn't seen my tits tonight.
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