You probably havent been upstairs if you think that the microwave missing its door is bad
Party priorities: alcohol > girls > music > cups > decorations
i stalked him back to the creation of his facebook in november 2008. that bad.
its likemy ribs anf my hesrt aew cuddlingn
I'm riding shot gun after Shawn took a dump in a happy meal box because we were making record time.
threw up in the kitchen showroom. home depot employee of the month.
Slept with my first Irish dude before I even got off the plane. Dublin has no idea what I have in store for it.
I made my own utility belt like Batman. It has a cup holder for my beer, cell phone holder, a little pocket for condoms, and a sewing kit just in case.
Guess who just rode home in a cop car?! Your Fav flamingo
Yup. Can I borrow your penis decanter for my Xmas party on Saturday
Do I have to formally apologize to Brett for flashing him?
just once I'd like to not pass out before we leave the designated pre-drinking place
If he can't cook well I'm just gonna buy a RealDoll and twenty cats and live my own fucking life
I'm owning this being a social human being thing tonight!
I woke up and there is a small Irish man playing call of duty in my room. Discuss.
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