The world needs more lipstick lesbians, if anything.
...i had to draw her a diagram of her own vagina. including a little arrow to the clitoris. shouldn't it be the other way around?!?
Taking my final with a coffee mug full of keystone... best semester ever.
Is it sad that I find it completely normal that I just took batteries out of a vibrator to put them in a pencil sharpener so I could do homework?
I find this completely acceptable.
maybe next time you'll take an ex boyfriend warning you that she's batshit crazy as a warning instead of a challenge
Just found out they make medicinal lollipops, bought like 40 of them. Gonna go fill a pediatricians lollipop bowl.
When a chinchilla decides to sit on your face while you're getting head from its owner, you bond.
Dude, this guy showed up with a 40 and stayed for two days. I want that lack of responsibility
Thankfully US customs doesnt have a checkbox for bringing semen into the country because my hair would still be in CDC quarantine
I need a kidney, not a pussy. All the pussy in the world isn't going to save my life. Keep your pussy in your pants and give me a kidney.
Some girl at my gym just tried to casually drop the fact she can kegel 3 lbs...
The notary thing was a good idea. I can charge $2 per signature. I'm currently being paid in beer.
Status: mom bitching about grandma not shutting the fuck up, while not shutting the fuck up. Dear Jesus give me strength or more bourbon.
This fucking storm better not ruin my sex plans this weekend
In honor of Randy Savage we're wearing spandex and handing out slim jim's with option to suplex. Get behind it
Randomize
