she looked like the bat from fern gully.
He said he only talked to me because I talk dirty in bed.
Why does Thanksgiving make hot girls feel disgusting and fat girls feel horny? Its killing my prospects.
the only sentence i could make out from her was "i will wash these herpes away"
An accidental pregnancy to a guy with a trustfund is no mistake. It is a gift from god.
Three things I need a picture of: your friend, your bong, and your dick.
you don't know true fear until you are a convinced that velociraptors are trying to kill you through your roof.
you seemed to enjoy falling down hill
wow, never heard the last few months of my life put so succint
IF I CAN STICK YOUR DICK IN MY MOUTH, I CAN STICK MY GUM ON YOUR NIGHTSTAND.
I just wanna go somewhere and not be judged for wearing spandex shorts that make my ass look like a slice of fucking heaven. Is that so much to ask??
Lube filled water balloons always make for a good time
I'm fucking blazing boy. 5hr weed sauce kicked in and my entire face feels like an 8ball of gold bond flying down a mountain of Fresh powder. Just gliding.
I don't want to just break his heart, I want to dip it in liquid nitrogen and then smash it until it's powder and snort the powder
I got blackout last night and applied to be a banker
For the record, if you sneeze while you have a dildo in your vagina and you dont have a good grip on it, that thing can get some distance.
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