Heybabeimwearingurpanties
Eating in charleston sc at a seafood place called "hymans". Like normal I had no problem finding it.
Just woke up on a dolphin floaty wearing only a party hat. There's blood on the side of the pool and glass in the sauna. Worst fucking hangover. But some guy said he is making crepes so its ok
Not gonna happen. She just told me she puts glitter over the mole on her nose to make it look like a piercing.
The worst part of it is that he's not the first man I've fucked with 2+ chihuahua's.
just drew up plans to mow my front lawn into the American flag for world cup. that high and patriotic.
I didn't ride the struggle bus so much as drive it backwards off a cliff.
Also, am I the only one who noticed he didn't fuck you until after you were technically a cripple? Or am I reading into this too much? Congrats on that btw
You would think the bank would reward me for getting my account down to 3 cents without overdrafting it.
Some people dream of being astronauts others dream of having genitalia that shines like Edward Cullen in the sun
I like that you use a Disney movie to describe the starting of our BDSM relationship, lmao
I just saw someone dressed as a bear leave your house on a motorcycle. I guess you guys are having a good time.
We should buy t shirt guns and blow eggs out of them at his house. Bachelorette party
He's going to be in the air guitar championships in june. Need I say more.
If dispatch calls for us tell them I'm having a significant emotional event in the restroom
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