im trying to pick out the cookie crumbs from my adderall. it is a lot harder than it seems.
I should be nowhere even remotely near facebook in this condition.
Disregard any previous text from the past 12 hours. Except for the one about scoring a strike while drunk bowling. Remember that one.
As soon as he lost the election, the reception's open bar became a cash bar. I have never been so disappointed in my countrymen.
bitch got booty called while we were making out. and then she actually left.
I woke up and he was just feeling up my stomach. I felt like buddha and he was rubbing my belly for good luck. never again.
Can you explain to me why there are fake boobs glued on my chest?
From now on, you must never doubt my ability to go from drunken rambling lovesick girl to Stepford wife within the course of a few hours.
Have you picked out a bathroom stall in which to fuck? Since you've got all this free time before her plane lands...
Successful first night. Lost my phone. Front desk found it. Earthquake in wine country. Didn't feel it.
I'm slowly starting to accept that you have to be a sociopath to be attracted to me
My potted cactus died. I am literally less nurturing than the desert.
Please tell me im imagining that i claimed that i was king of the ducks.
After drinking all day I popped an adderal, slammed three beers in a row, apparently told the bartender "thanks bitch" then ran on stage.
Well she's 'call Wayne Gretzky a whore' drunk so you tell me.
Randomize
