All these guys look like the American Apparel version of Jesus...
we black-lighted her bedspread and it looked like a jackson pollock painting.
I don't care where my tongue is but i t's going to be in all the pictures.
I learned his name tonight. This now makes him a real person. Obviously, I no longer want to sleep with him.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just spiked the applesauce. Try to tell me again your party is better.
I'm sneaking you alcohol into a hospital. This either says love or "we have a problem"
my post shower fart this morning sounded like hulk ripping through a phonebook
ugh... thank God for ATM withdrawal limits. I was drunk enough to give that weird shaped stripper all of my money while making her cry in the back room.
my roommate made out with a guy wearing a squirrel costume, equipped with a blow up tail. time to start harvesting nuts for the winter
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I jumped out of a moving car going sixty into my driveway because I had to shit so bad. It is not a good day today.
How do we stop her downward spiral?
Wine. For us.
ever had the feeling "I've been drunk in this bathroom before?" Like De ja drunk?
I never thought I would encounter a situation that was "Too Gay" for me...and yet there I was.
I can see. My condolences to your vagina.
Do you think he will let me wear my neck fan while he throws my back out?
Please shut the fuck up.
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