Yep, it's a dick on our front door. Intentional?
Dude if you're in another zip code it doesn't count
You don't understand. I'm not like you.
is it sad that i can describe this night as "the night that i was sober" and we all know which night it was. like literally one night of sobriety.
about to tell this girl that sh'es my teenage dream. you have 15.358s to stop me.
One night stand. Woke up at her dad's house. She already left for work. Shit's about to go down.
Is it horrible that I want to keep my purple landing strip until after my gyno apt? I feel like someone beside myself should see it...
then he tried to convert me to islam
We're doing it in the traditional way of discussing why we dislike each other while sharing a bowl. Just like the natives do.
we left the music on while we were fucking. some kanye west song started playing and he started to cry
I think now I understand why people say my penis is pretty.
We were getting fries and you hopped the counter and yelled "WELCOME TO GOOD BURGER HOME OF THE GOOD BURGER" and threw up
We grabbed as many adult diapers as we could and made a run for it.
ok give me a pep talk, I want a hotdog but I'm too stoned to go make it
I just made my mom buy me lube. I've reached a new level of broke.
also I was promised more toga parties by popular media
Randomize
