yes, the chronicles of narnia is exactly what happens when you do crack inside of a wardrobe.
I feel kinda awkward using the Sesame Street themed Google to search for hot young pussy...
just because you are in college doesnt mean its okay to pregame easter mass.
Freshman ate returning to campus. Let Operation Slut Storm commence.
I vaguely remember Matt shouting something about "GET ON MY LEVEL!" at the bartender before he attempted to order a case of tequila from him.
That feeling when you're ready to convert to the religion of whatever god will stop the vomit. Dynamite is illegal.
I'm toasting stale bread and thinking of you
Is that a sex thing?
God dammit. My lube leaked all over my passport
It must be love. I'm deleting my porn for him.
Have you ever given your heart and soul to someone and they turn out to be nothing but a great fuck that makes a mean grilled cheese because same
It's my day off, I'm going to Target to check out Moms in yoga pants
He wants me to fart in his mouth and is offering me SOOOO much coke. I'm stuck between a rock and a hard place. GIVE ME ADVICE.
bonus check + party bus = big hot mess
Omg I joined a choir last night...
I just tried to dye my pubic hair teal for her
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