..Thats also how I think I got the lyrics from MIAs Paper Planes Sharpeed on my ass? Maybe.
Seriously though, we're going to drink and watch Survivor first one to puke gets voted off the island
I woke up this morning and the first thing i saw was the harry potter tattoo on his left butt cheek.
it wasnt like "sexy" or whatever. like...she was smiling just standing there butt ass naked
tasteful.
i can't believe you were mixing vodka with green tea last night and enjoying it.
i should bottle and sell it. my slogan could be "green tea vodka. antioxidating while intoxiacting. your liver will thank you. "
She just sucked the buffalo sauce out of my beard. I've never been so disgusted and hard in my life.
Thank you for getting us into that car accident. I have had more guys hit on me than ever before because of my broken fingers.
I'm trying not to drink. I may fall down if I move. This is bad. I had everclear before the bar. Oh no. Oh no. Breathe. Breathe. Breathe.
before we left she put a post-it on the floor next to the toilet saying she was a pretty pretty princess
Love is....waiting for your girl to throw up her shot in the bathroom...then handing her her beer. Game face.
I understand that just don't try to seduce me while making frozen pizza again.
Hey dude. I've got a mini fridge in my closet now so we don't have to worry about getting drunk and falling down the stairs on our way to get more beer.
That cat I follow on Facebook beat cancer so we're drinking tonight in celebration
Please wake up and help me figure out how I woke up on the floor with my head under the couch
I'm with the cops, Trish's gay husband stabbed himself and is framing her for attempt of murder and I'm dressed 4 the club I'm wearing leather pants leather jacket leather boots and black club top. Embarrassed
Randomize
