Literal conversation "you are ________ ____. you facebook friended me"
yes, the chronicles of narnia is exactly what happens when you do crack inside of a wardrobe.
girl is pretty boring. i'm gonna see if she'll let me finger her.
Cops came. Forced us to take the "Honk and We'll Drink" and the "Free Shots to Father's of Freshman Daughters" signs down. Before we did, someone honked and the cop said, "Aren't you gonna drink?" They then told us to move the party inside by ten.
Nothing like the It's a Small World ride at Disneyland to remind you to take your birth control. I took it on the boat yesterday
I don't want anything to do with the Darth Vader stripper babe. I'm just trying to make dreams come true.
I just want you and your enormous dick to be my fucking rebound so we can move on with our lives
all my money is vodka money
I have never read a truer sentence.
The squirrels are partying on my roof again. Now they're just rubbing it in that I'm home alone on a Saturday night and they're having orgies.
He drives a tundra! Of course I fucked him. Im just saying eventually im going to need help moving and he has a nice truck. Its like thank you for later on
I don't care what you say about him, his cock is the stuff dreams are made of.
Every time Brady gets sacked I cum a little...
Who is this? I have a text from you last night telling me your name and to train hard for Tuesday, please make this make sense
Sexting gets boring after a while. I'm eating a sandwich right now and googling 'sexting ideas' and just copy/pasting lines.
It's a good sandwich though.
He made me cum 3 times, then immediately after sex packed a bowl and passed it to me. Yeah.. I'll keep him.
Randomize
