I got everything I ever gave her back, every picture, and money for the dog. I didn't want it she brought it all back and gave it to me. clothes jackets, pictures, dried flowers, ear rings, necklace...
Sell it on ebay and let's go to the bar
Dude, it's gettin so bad even my fantasies just wanna be friends.
PS Can you transmit a UTI to a sexual partner? I tried to ask, but the doctor just told me to abstain (sup Bristol) for my own good w/o answering
why did u have a candy cane hung on your dick in the first place?
she has a santa fetish
cute.
Vodka is such a love hate relationship.
Truer words have never been spoken.
My face is bruised from laying on the concrete. NO MORE VODKA!
When I told her that her boyfriend was making out with another chick, all she said was "which one"
Oh wow. Was walking and just saw her in the pool, fully clothed, ranting on an alligator float. I guess i should go get her before security gets here.
As soon as they started using chocolate milk as a chaser for captain Morgan, I thought l it'd be best to leave.
TIL a potato cannon can be loaded with dildos as ammunition. Boy, do our neighbours love us!
So after I fell off 4 times we concluded I'm not allowed to ride him anymore.
Seriously I am not buying you condoms anymore. You're 22, if you aren't woman enough to buy them yourself then you don't deserve orgasms. Grow some tits.
So, got kind of drunk last night, made out with some guy, and somehow stole his credit card. Don't even know.
I can see. My condolences to your vagina.
At Target. Everyone is stocking up on food and flashlights for this storm. I stocked up on beer. Dont judge me, it was on sale...
Randomize
