Texts From Last Night

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  (502): View more from Kentucky

  oh great. kentucky is ranked #1 in the country for child abuse. go us.

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  (502): oh great. kentucky is ranked #1 in the country for child abuse. go us. http://tfl.nu/ayu5
  Replies (84) Good night (993) Bad night (4596)
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  (307): View more from Wyoming

  i guess i called my mom last night. she wasnt nearly as impressed with what we did in the bathroom as i was

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  (307): i guess i called my mom last night. she wasnt nearly as impressed with what we did in the bathroom as i was http://tfl.nu/vjju
  Replies (4) Good night (1024) Bad night (3971)
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  (507): View more from Minnesota

  Sorry I had passed out by this time I think, with the chicken fingers ON my face in my bed, with all the lights on, and ketchup all over.

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  (507): Sorry I had passed out by this time I think, with the chicken fingers ON my face in my bed, with all the lights on, and ketchup all over. http://tfl.nu/ztri
  Replies (7) Good night (2462) Bad night (1613)
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  (854): View more from

  i like to finish this college football season knowing that not once have I had to masturbate to erin andrews

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  (854): i like to finish this college football season knowing that not once have I had to masturbate to erin andrews http://tfl.nu/lvjo
  Replies (8) Good night (1798) Bad night (851)
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  (913): View more from Kansas

  come over, blizzard of oz party. dress up.

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  (913): come over, blizzard of oz party. dress up. http://tfl.nu/dd2l
  Replies (10) Good night (4556) Bad night (751)
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  (607): View more from New York

  Close. The correct answer is shitting in a public toilet. We also would have accepted the pit of despair.

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  (607): Close. The correct answer is shitting in a public toilet. We also would have accepted the pit of despair. http://tfl.nu/k6ce
  Replies (4) Good night (689) Bad night (945)
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  (937): View more from Ohio

  Partial kegs from last night are currently in my bathtub, which leads me to 2 questions: 1. What are you doing tonight? 2. Can I use your shower?

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  (937): Partial kegs from last night are currently in my bathtub, which leads me to 2 questions: 1. What are you doing tonight? 2. Can I use your shower? http://tfl.nu/53j7
  Replies (4) Good night (1566) Bad night (497)
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  (+64): View more from New Zealand

  was it me or did you scream 'champagne motherfucker' when you punched him in the face ??

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  (+64): was it me or did you scream 'champagne motherfucker' when you punched him in the face ?? http://tfl.nu/6vfo
  Replies (10) Good night (3437) Bad night (814)
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  (619): View more from California

  The bald eagles cry cause u drink canadian beer.

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  (619): The bald eagles cry cause u drink canadian beer. http://tfl.nu/kgnu
  Replies (23) Good night (1911) Bad night (603)
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  (402): View more from Nebraska

  Yeah, surprised you made it on time this morning. Remarkable, considering 2 hours ago you were pretending to be talking window curtains.

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  (402): Yeah, surprised you made it on time this morning. Remarkable, considering 2 hours ago you were pretending to be talking window curtains. http://tfl.nu/xruv
  Replies (8) Good night (1374) Bad night (466)
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  (408): View more from California

  I'm going to give blood tomorrow. Prepare yourself for pictures and a cynical poem about the heart and its level of tangibility.

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  (408): I'm going to give blood tomorrow. Prepare yourself for pictures and a cynical poem about the heart and its level of tangibility. http://tfl.nu/5lhi
  Replies (1) Good night (338) Bad night (446)
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  (931): View more from Tennessee

  I can't relate, I like my boobs roaming free like a wild animal, and I occasionally let them devour small children

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  (931): I can't relate, I like my boobs roaming free like a wild animal, and I occasionally let them devour small children http://tfl.nu/92r8
  Replies (4) Good night (885) Bad night (339)
• Favorite

  (985): View more from Louisiana

  Know your penis has been the topic of conversation over glasses of wine.

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  (985): Know your penis has been the topic of conversation over glasses of wine. http://tfl.nu/rmj5
  Replies (2) Good night (771) Bad night (237)
• Favorite

  (916): View more from California

  Ran into his sister at the gym and hit it in the parking lot. I dont even feel like a bad friend she got a boob job and lost 20 lbs its not even the same sister

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  (916): Ran into his sister at the gym and hit it in the parking lot. I dont even feel like a bad friend she got a boob job and lost 20 lbs its not even the same sister http://tfl.nu/waln
  Replies (6) Good night (1366) Bad night (304)
• Favorite

  (407): View more from Florida

  I have invented a new game to play on campus. It's called "Mormons or Pledges?" It's fantastic.

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  (407): I have invented a new game to play on campus. It's called "Mormons or Pledges?" It's fantastic. http://tfl.nu/0g5m
  Replies (1) Good night (550) Bad night (196)

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