Well I'm going to a gay club in my banana suit. You should come. My bro is going as a pirate. I don't know if there's a theme.
she went to type in rate my professors and rate my pussy came up in my recent searches. needless to say, i will likely be masturbating to the aforementioned site tonight.
His dick might not be the answer to my problems, but I'm definitely ok with testing it as a possible solution.
its preseason football. its like non alcoholic beer. who gives a fuck
haha the sad thing is i can't decide whats worse. the fact that you're drunk judging a science fair or the fact that i'm really proud of you for it.
Dude this stripper just dry humped the settings off my phone. She earned that dollar
Breaking up as roommates was a poor life decision. I'm sorry. Thank you for never shitting on the floor.
Hey I'm not sure why your jacket's covered in maple syrup but I just realized you didn't leave the house earlier wearing a jacket...
I was convinced to buy a man thong.
But it's Armani so it's okay.
God I just out gayed myself.
Signs you do Molly too much. Glow sticks fallout of random articles of clothing on academic row
We walked 3 miles to the strip club. Stopped for roadies, it wasn't that bad.
He drives a PT Cruiser.... that should have been my first clue.
I haven't lost it. I know I'm not a prophet. It was a joke.
After the edible you claimed you were talking to my cat. We're in our 30s now, what was once cute is now a liability.
I'm just trying to figure out the reason why humans wear socks....
I think I deserve an award for the breakup text I sent him. Like a pulitzer prize or a donut or something.
Randomize
