Can I ask u a weird question?
do u have the hershy squirts too?
frozen peaches as icecubes. vodka Sundays just got wayyyy better
You're just mad at the fact that I want to be a car alarm.
And why did 3 people fail to stop me from literally getting a piggy back ride from the bar to his apartment?!
25 Porn Addicts Admit Their Biggest Pet Peeves
My boyfriend woke me up in the middle of the night to have sex with me right before I had sex with another guy in my dream. What a unique sixth sense his penis has.
Well the pizza delivery man was either startled or incredibly intrigued to see me skateboarding in the living room by myself at 1 in the morning in ripped pantyhose
The background of my phone is you taped to the wall wearing a cowboy hat
I didn't plan on sleeping with him until he told me his mom is deaf.. Then I felt bad.
There is a good chance that the other night after a wedding reception i was at that i mailed you a drink coaster.
These 23 People Walked In On Someone And Saw Some Crazy Sh*t
He's such a gentleman. He didn't even ask why my bra was flung on the seat of my car. He just took my snow brush, pushed it onto the floor and said, "Let's go I'm hungry."
Priorities: waking up on your doorstep desperately clutching half a meatball marinara but with no sign of your keys, purse or housemate. Where are you?!
81 degrees in april.... Thinking margaritacicles, you in?
it wasnt a pity fuck per say. i wasnt attracted to her, but still thought 'that looks like a fun ride'
"Friendship bread", "how to get period stains out of cement", and "elephant bereavement" are all in my recent google history. Whatever shit that was last night really did me in...
I didn't want sex last night, but she charmed my dick out of my pants like a snake charmer.