Have you ever been so weak from sleep you couldn't push your poo out?
So we were banging and she started puking all over my bed. I'm not sure what's worse, her puking, or that I felt the urge to start singing Flip-adelphia.
he doesn't care that i have a boyfriend so why should i?
logic in its finest
I really need to learn how to handle sexual advances from older women
I wish I had your problem
These 25 People Had Very Inappropriate Sexual Relations(hips)
Had to use the product locator on on the four loko website to find them at home. Got to go in the backroom of a grocery store to get them. Dedication.
And then i had a penis in each hand. It was magical.
dont be like that, i wasnt picking him over you. I was picking multiple orgasms over zoolander.
He knows my period schedule but not my work schedule.
Judge me...This apron fits PERFECTLY when I have no clothes on
Who said I was judging? More like congratulating.
These 31 People Are Lazier Than You Could Ever Imagine
FALSE ALARM! I didn't piss myself, I fell asleep in the shower and then drunkingly crawled into my bed
He started screaming when he saw my dog. He thought it was a polar bear
life lesson #151: dont let people go batshit crazy and stab you in the knee
i will live by this rule
Dude a gay guy just Sparta kicked this Samoan guy for calling him a flamer you need to get down here the free kamakazee shots haven't even started yet
Ryan Reynolds is on sesame street right now. Dressed as a letter A but still sexy as fuck. PBS is so considerate of the stay at home mom.
The awkward moment your booty call shows up to the Mexican restaurant and realizes you just picked burritos over pussy