he's super hid and wouldn't leave us alone so i snatched his phone and started texting lovelink (thanks for a well-timed commercial) that will cost him money. muhahaha
Its like the long john silvers of colleges, I wouldnt even go there to use the bathroom
My phone now changes "me" to "mrrrrrrrrh", thank you new years.
we were wasted and he didn't have a condom so he called the front desk and asked for one. They didn't "officially" have them but the night manager happened to have one in his wallet. He brought it to the room with two mints.
I'm not sure where but someone shit somewhere in the house
i flashed his best friends last night
you always were good at making good first impressions
I don't remember much but I remember it was a unanimous decision that Santa was indeed real and Cait's stripping somehow proved this.
Life for us students isn't all fun and drunken lesbian affairs you know
This conversation has now reached a level of awkward that even a passerby streaking hobo couldn't break.
I am not even close to finishing violently masturbating over that video.
We had a deepthroating contest with breadsticks at Olive Garden
Oh you know..Chillin with your dad.
With a fannypack full of drugs.
at first i said "no rollerblading if I'm going to be drunk," but we all know how that went
I gargles a mimosa for breakfast. It's gonna be a killer Monday.
I wish so many great beards were not attached to even greater jerks. All that face sitting potential wasted. Some of the greatest tragedies of this century.