Texts From Last Night

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  (651): View more from Minnesota

  the truckdriver in the lane next to me just looked down and motorboated in my direction.

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  (651): the truckdriver in the lane next to me just looked down and motorboated in my direction. http://tfl.nu/x0dk
  Replies (35) Good night (3320) Bad night (1672)
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  (703): View more from Virginia

  is it bad that I sent her a picture of my penis on her husbands birthday?

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  (703): is it bad that I sent her a picture of my penis on her husbands birthday? http://tfl.nu/tuui
  Replies (11) Good night (1320) Bad night (3589)
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  (940): View more from Texas

  I'm drinking vodka out of a coffee pot. and i'm not even mad about it

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  (940): I'm drinking vodka out of a coffee pot. and i'm not even mad about it http://tfl.nu/c2d6
  Replies (10) Good night (2794) Bad night (944)
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  (416): View more from Toronto

  thinking back, the fact that our bartender was missing a finger shouldve been hint number one not to let him pick our drinks

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  (416): thinking back, the fact that our bartender was missing a finger shouldve been hint number one not to let him pick our drinks http://tfl.nu/k1ka
  Replies (4) Good night (1208) Bad night (2143)
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  (212): View more from New York

  it was either a really good one night stand or a really really good first date. thank you online dating

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  (212): it was either a really good one night stand or a really really good first date. thank you online dating http://tfl.nu/p848
  Replies (19) Good night (4454) Bad night (1101)
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  (815): View more from Illinois

  Yeaaah. I'm kinda wary about that guy. Does he still have that taser that he found on the train?

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  (815): Yeaaah. I'm kinda wary about that guy. Does he still have that taser that he found on the train? http://tfl.nu/kbte
  Replies (3) Good night (1163) Bad night (999)
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  (717): View more from Pennsylvania

  ...And then you kept screaming "cock mouth" in her face every time she tried to talk.

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  (717): ...And then you kept screaming "cock mouth" in her face every time she tried to talk. http://tfl.nu/2qzx
  Replies (4) Good night (1969) Bad night (890)
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  (740): View more from Ohio

  Someone painted a weed leaf on my leg with red paint. Or blood. I hope paint.

  (740): View more from Ohio

  Holy fuck just found a used tampon in the leg of my pants. it's not paint. It's. Not. Paint.

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  (740): Someone painted a weed leaf on my leg with red paint. Or blood. I hope paint. (740): Holy fuck just found a used tampon in the leg of my pants. it's not paint. It's. Not. Paint. http://tfl.nu/vk5s
  Replies (22) Good night (991) Bad night (5651)
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  (910): View more from North Carolina

  FULL ON LADY WOOD. YOU CAN SEE THE VEIN

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  (910): FULL ON LADY WOOD. YOU CAN SEE THE VEIN http://tfl.nu/beux
  Replies (10) Good night (940) Bad night (1687)
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  (707): View more from California

  The name of tonight's festivities is hereby decreed to be the "Honey Boo Boo Hootenanny".

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  (707): The name of tonight's festivities is hereby decreed to be the "Honey Boo Boo Hootenanny". http://tfl.nu/ox7j
  Replies (3) Good night (608) Bad night (683)
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  (587): View more from Alberta

  I love you, but it's "shark week" I'll make it up to you with naked breakfast.

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  (587): I love you, but it's "shark week" I'll make it up to you with naked breakfast. http://tfl.nu/t2q0
  Replies (6) Good night (727) Bad night (528)
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  (616): View more from Michigan

  So like, boobs.

  (1-616): View more from Michigan

  are you really going to start every conversation like that?

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  (616): So like, boobs. (1-616): are you really going to start every conversation like that? http://tfl.nu/4tw0
  Replies (3) Good night (753) Bad night (324)
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  (315): View more from New York

  well that's the third time this semester that I've projectile vomited walking to class in front of dozens of people

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  (315): well that's the third time this semester that I've projectile vomited walking to class in front of dozens of people http://tfl.nu/1v0e
  Replies (3) Good night (357) Bad night (610)
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  (+44): View more from United Kingdom

  This guy on the tube is sooooooo high. Eyes are bloodshot and he's licking his headphone cords.

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  (+44): This guy on the tube is sooooooo high. Eyes are bloodshot and he's licking his headphone cords. http://tfl.nu/p2f6
  Replies (2) Good night (474) Bad night (254)
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  (319): View more from Iowa

  You pretty much lost your mind. Your ego has gotten ten time the size of your balls.

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  (319): You pretty much lost your mind. Your ego has gotten ten time the size of your balls. http://tfl.nu/3o35
  Replies (2) Good night (300) Bad night (279)

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