Theres this fat girl in desperate need of the proactive factory in my class and as i watch her shovel food in her face I am struggling to not only keep down my meager lunch but also to stay straight. Eliza Dushku couldnt even get my flacid dick to move
I just had teddy grams, ritz crackers, and twizzlers for dinner. Hello, end of the semester.
No see this is how It goes: guys will fuck virgin girls. But girls don't really want to fuck virgin guys. So you're good have no fear.
Last night after we fucked, I washed my vag in vodka so I wouldn't get an STD
Or, you could have used a condom
i am too hungover to go to class can you just call me and put it on speaker phone
I need to have sex with you on our hotel room window ledge... This is a need not a request.
She fucked me for a ride to the airport. If this is what the rest of college is like, I'm never graduating.
you were exchanging tortilla chips with the guy at the next table, telling him your table was given the "big chips" because it was your 21st birthday
There was a cop outside the house so we just put the alcohol in this watermelon
The worst decision I made last night was allowing myself to be duct taped to the ceiling
so you know how I brush my teeth after I give you a bj? according to my dentist my teeth have never been cleaner. looks like this will be a recurring thing
our jesse-walt dynamic is actualy really perfect because i want to start a small time drug empire and you want to get high a lot its very accurate
My liver can't handle being unemployed!
You made me brush your teeth last night......for 47 minutes.
We're just starting to open presents and I already need a shot. This is gonna be a long Christmas day.
Randomize
