Just saw truck nuts on a handicap conversion van
Just had a conversation with Jon gosselin
Until you fuck him in front of his kids stop wasting my time with stupid texts.
Sober January is a disaster.
ahh summer, the season during which the prefix for every verb is "get drunk and"
No one wears that much makeup to work unless they are trying to fuck their boss, NO ONE
I literally had to tap out of the blow job. It was like a pornographic wrestling match
What happened to chicks over dicks?
That rule does not apply to 9 inch dicks..
It's probably just the physical manifestation of slut karma. But i of course mean that in the kindest way possible because i love you and respect your choices
She scratched my sunburn during sex. I didn't know whether to cry or cum
That's the second time in a week someone has called me to talk drunk you into getting up off the floor. This needs to stop.
Think I just saw your homeless guy on High Street. Did you give him back his crutch?
She gave us all a pep talk at the bus stop at 1 AM. It involved cupcakes and somehow ended with her making out with her best friend. God bless college.
The girls danced. I drank. Then I danced cause I was drunk. Then I ripped tim's shirt off cause I'm awesome.
Don't pretend you don't want to dance on the edge of overdose all three nights
There's a fine line between kinky and serial killer
Randomize
