i wokr up in ohio with no clothes. i think someone gave me ecstacy. can you come find me please it's cold.
Any time you start making pro wrestling references before 10 PM I know that I'm breaking up a fight between you and some muscled up frat boy you call Hogan.
just had a memory of me telling homeless mark that it was the year of the bunny and he said "you da bunny, girl"
Standards are awful. It's like living in the zombie apocalypse. You can only have sex with certain people
Just me. You're probably having sex with her right now, so here's a reminder that you should be thinking of me per our agreement.
that's all we do, eat and hve sex, eat and have sex. he thinks it's bad and that we need to talk more or whatever but I'm just not seeing the problem...
He wanted me to blow him while he did curls and looked at himself in the mirror. Not sure if gay or ego maniac.
with a cock that big I don't even care that he makes a convincing drag queen
I don't know what to say to that. All I know is my vagina is trying to jump through the phone.
She offered to treat me to breakfast after a one night stand if I meet her parents and sex again if I act as her bf. It may be a trap but its a offer I won't refuse.
Back. Waiting on Thong the shuttle bus driver. THONG
He said "send me a motivational picture" so I sent one with mayo on my face that said "clearly I'm no stranger to white stuff on my face"...I'm the fuckingng worst
are you watching the world series?
I've made out with alex bregman... so yes
So I ended the trip with two cold sores, poison ivy on my leg and vagina, and no alcohol or weed. WORST. 4TH. OF. JULY. EVER.
not even sure this counts as hungover but like my body can't exist in reality today
Randomize
