You say "arrested with two drunk girls" like it's a bad thing....
If you're going to watch porn, can you atleast be considerate and watch it on my old laptop and not the new one?
i walked into the first stall,, but there was no paper, so i'm in the other one. a little kid is in the one without paper now and is making a lot of noise. curious how this'll turn out for him.
do guys with small dicks even attempt to pursue romantic relationships?
My wife googled 'purchase vibrator.' Not sure if I should be excited or offended.
Just asked the bartender if I could use the register to see my grades.
I did, I'm just saying. Once the drinking starts my nipples are no longer my control.
OH DEAR GOD. He looks like if u licked him he'd taste like bourbon, sex and sunshine.
I feel like passing out with my foot on your face has bonded us at a very fundamental level.
My legs have surpassed "hairy" and entered the territory of "furry". Maybe I should just suck it up and shave already
No now I'm curious!
I'm on a treadmill at the gym ordering pizza on my phone so it'll get to my house around the time I get home. I NEED HELP. Or I'm a genius. I haven't decided.
Sometimes you've gotta crawl to stay concious
The woman in the flower onesie is claiming she hasn't been drinking.
I don't know if I want to fuck him or punch him in the face.
I found half a candy bar in my bra today... Melted to my nipple. What a mess. It was still good though.
Randomize
