If a fat man falls in the shower and nobody is in the apartment, does his pride still hurt? Answer: yes
tonight i'm making a christmas tree shaped shot pyramid
So how many shot glasses of coffee grounds make a pot?
I'm going to fuck my way out of the friend zone if its the last thing I do
Totally forgot this... How weird was it when they were licking our faces
She is ok w me having sex for money. Just gotta find rich grandmas.
It's hard to be a gentleman when a girl pauses her karaoke version of "a whole new world," and proceeds to tell the entire bar that she wants your cock in her mouth.
He smashed a plastic chair leg on a tree stump, threw himself into the side of our metal enclosure, stomped on the wreckage for a bit and then punched the fire.
Can she stop putting up all these passive aggressive statuses and please come out of the "I-want-to-be-a-pornstar" closet already?
I think i just fucked the same guy a second time without realizing it....does that make me a good whore or a bad whore???
Bring fortys. we have the duct tape. its onnn mothafuckaaaa
Why is there an ambulance refusal in my pocket? I'm never going drinking with you again.
Wish me luck. My vagina needs it.
May his noodley appendage touch you.
There is a special place in hell for people who only eat the center of the pot brownies.
I was told i took a shot doing a headstand in the backseat then proceeded to barf all over my face
I had no idea you were so talented.
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