He just left - my room smells like that cheese they put on nachos and cigarettes and beef
Yo quero taco bell
Turns out I'm like the Wayne Gretzky of hiding cum. Who knew?
Coming down off exstacy at a church event. Resisting the urge to dance to the church hymns.
just watched paranormal activity stoned. laughed the whole time and screamed when they turned on the lights. eating doritos. I love my life
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
20 yrs from now I just want to barge in her house and yell at her kids, "I took ur moms virginity!"
We need to get her some penis inspired head protection.
Fourth time I had to be woken up in the line of Whataburger in two weeks. First time my shirt was free of vomit.
she's five days sober.....are those consecutive????
5 days not 5 nights... like a bad hotel/vacation deal
Just stared at a tree for a solid 5 minutes because I thought a German Shepard was perched on a limb.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I DONT UNDERSTAND NIPPLES. THEY JUST POP OUT FOR NO REASON
Well somebody's had a rough day, nipple-wise
We are trying to penis chicken awkward them out. But I think it's a gay wedding. Backfiring. Heavily.
My new boobs got me 12 drinks at the concert. Whose the real winner here?
We don't have the same problems as normal people do we?
I fell asleep in the bathroom during my mothers dinner party with no pants on. Her friend walked In. I was told to not come back.
I just don't know how to say "I want to have sex you with before you graduate" in a classy way
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