Uhhh...do I owe you any money? Or an apology? Or anything?
Third unemployed latin in my bed this week. I'm on a roll
You were demanding water from a bottle but I didn't have one..so I just took the water bottle from the hamster cage. You're welcome.
will barter weed for kareoke machine...
Our sex has gotten so much better since we broke up.
I will tell my future kids about the time I went to the bar with a stomach virus. Like a champ.
All she kept whispering was put your pickle in my mouth. Then she fell out of her barstool and chipped her tooth
Yeah thats cool. We can play the alphabet game while doing bumps of coke in the back of his volswagon
Still losing my voice, so I am trying to get it back through drugs. Welcome to my Monday logic.
I didn't realize how drunk I was until my vagina was in the snow.
Stoned, drunk, and walking into the library. Look at me multitasking!
Less than a month to graduation and I'm still blacking out on the reg tonguing down the closest breathing organism preferably with a penis but I'm flexible, and still havent figured out how to be functional on Fridays. WHY don't they teach us valuable shit at this institution!?
It's a sad statement on my day when the high point was getting a pap test.
I just thought you should know.... I am fully committed to being a ho this summer
Seeing her tonight. She doesn't want dinner, just wants me to come over for awhile. My penis just sent me a thank you card.
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