What do you do when the person in the stall next to you says they're jealous?
I just opened a gallon of milk that is good through the 10th of January- I hope I can say the same for myself.
..and then spiked the maple syrup at iHop
I'm hoping you can explain why I woke up with what I believe is pumpkin pie all over my body
Emergency need house key where r u I just got shit o n
im breathing rainbows and everyone is talking in bubbles whatever you gave me give me more
My boyfriend correctly calculated the time I would be out of alcohol and showed up about four minutes after I'd run out with two bottles of wine. I think this is love.
YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL.
I don't have any money, so I'm just gonna press my boobs against him for his birthday.
I feel like you just railed me after that sext
We got back from the bar and started watching bizzare foods, which subsequently led to the consumption of large amounts of rancid lunch meat and small insects.
Like sorry you chose to have an attractive girlfriend dude
No one needs to know about the barren wasteland that is my vag. Sometimes i visualize my cervix rocking back and forth wondering where everybody went.
I just pictured that. It's reading a book.
Did my extra credit for a class I badly need to pass at the bar of Friday's.. kind of sum's up my college career. Got a 90 though.
New one isn't as good asmy ex. She won't put her tongue up my butt
Peter this is your "ex"
I stand by what i said
Randomize
