He came on my chest. Sat back and said "hey it sorta looks like lake michigan!" kill me now...
It was worth having to clean the cum stains out of the carpet.
He told me the hand job I gave him this morning was "lovely".
Handjob with gloves on results in friction burn. In case you've ever wondered
I remember now some guy came over and hit on me and poured peppermint schnapps and chocolate syrup in my mouth. Pretty sure he was dressed like Santa....
ur not supposed to find someone to make out with when ur bf takes u to his SISTERS house to hang out with her and her husband
If I'm going to start compromising my butthole it's going to be for much better drugs than a ventolin
I was wondering why he was in my phone as "Cat Guy", he seemed pretty normal. Then when we woke up he was wearing a shirt with a picture of his cat on it. The name stays.
I mean jail does seem alright, all the free broth you can eat.
that almost beats the chick I saw smoking a joint while uni-cycling past my house at 4am. Almost.
Never go drinking with anime club. End of story.
p.s i need to stop drunk texting my mom. she brings up text convos all the time and i have no idea what shes talking about...
I can't believe we broke the fucking lamp.
*i* can't believe believe we broke the lamp fucking.
Well I typed "penicillin a" into the search engine and before I could finish "penicillin and drinking" popped up. Google knows me too well.
also. when i get a car, the amount of space there is for sex WILL be a huge deciding factor.
Randomize
