After he finished I threw up my arms and shouted STEVE HOLT!
I think her nose is broken... but I think she's just drunk enough to fall for the whole "sex releases endorphins, so it'll feel better" line.
It will be a surprise...all i can say is stripper clown
You'll be happy to know that I did indeed fracture my rib in a sex related injury
I realized I'm gonna have to fit cheating on my gf, sleeping with my gf and having dinner with her parents all into one Sunday evening
Let me just say....i'm sorry about setting your carpet on fire. I had no idea that the paper towel would burn that quickly.
I'm in a pile of cheezits at an unfamiliar location watching dateline on tlc. Stage an intervention.
Tom is laying in a bathtub filled with ice pretending to be a polar bear.
Day 1 of "Death of a Liver" weekend complete. It came with flashbacks of horrible mistakes I made due to alcohol. I'm excited for how Sunday is going to turn out.
So, I have realized that I am kryptonite for married men. I'm not sure how to feel about this sober, but drunk me accepts her destiny.
There's a super pregnant woman here complaining about back pain. I better not see a live birth in the hair care aisle
maybe one of us should just pity fuck him and get it over with.
My vagina needs a break, I had to ice it with a beer bottle last night.
Jesus Christ, it's not like going swimming. You don't have to wait 20 minutes after you eat to suck a dick
When you're as high as I am right now brushing your teeth is both magical and fucking terrifying
Randomize
