I wanna bring you to show and tell
I think condoms have that nasty latex smell to remind you in the morning of how gross you are.
are you drunk enough to hook up with me yet?
Why the fuck is the royal wedding at 4am. That is obviously not the most appropriate time to drink during finals. It's like I'm bound to fail, by royal decree.
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.
You blacked out and walked in on my neighbor breast feeding at 3am yelling "where is my best friend". I think we should go apologize.
She thinks I'm afraid I'm gonna get caught in one of my lies and some of the girls I'm fucking will find out about each other. But it would be a relief to offload a few from the old crop and work in a few newbies into the rotation. The organization could use some new blood.
You had a fry stuck to your face... Every five mins you would wake up, take a bite, put it back then fall asleep again...
And it's settled. 10 months is the appropriate amount of time before having the dick pic discussion.
Well, I wish you luck on finding out who your boyfriend is
Also at one point I told him to say my name and it took him like 5 seconds to remember.
Like your dick isn't Beyoncé, it doesn't get close ups
That's why my boobs are so big, they're full of secrets.
I came and sneezed at the same time. Words can't describe how awesome it was.
Um. I just realized I still have a beer in my purse from last night. I'm at work. I am so classy.
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