She was so high she ate a little piece of weed off her pants and thought it was food.
So then I sent a pic msg of the Magnum XL box to her friend
I found it funny that her boobs actually kinda felt like a bag of sand. the 40 year old virgin should feel better about himself.
He poured syrup on all those broken dishes because "syrup is magical, and by the time we wake up, they'll be fixed."
rethinking that breast reduction surgery... i'm tired of drunkenly explaining the scars to guys who don't really give a shit
It got to the point that I had to make flashcards with their name on the front and dick pics on the back.
He's blaming gravity for his problems right now, so put that in perspective
I'm confused are we getting high or did someone actually die?
your bra might or might not be a decoration on me and my roomies xmas tree haha
Things I just found under my covers: protein bar, string cheese, vibrator.
I'm petty sure you said "hold on let me make my nipples hard, they look better"
The resort was totally empty, just June and I. Which of course lead to EXCESSIVE day drinking and outdoor fucking. FYI Dominicans LOVE to watch.
Today is a shit your pants at work kinda day
Yah. Then he started clapping my boobs together in his hands and started shouting "the seas are angry!"
If history is any guide, his morals are no match for my tits
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