3:47a: I take it you're not on your way over
i paused nhl 10 while i jerked off and it was like a crowd was cheering me on
i was just singing like a virgin out loud my mom told me to stop kidding myself
How do you tell someone they are only invited if they put out?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I already apologized. And I got cum in my eye in return, I say your night beats mine...
We had phone sex and he came in his sink. i will never eat off one of his plates again
What do you think it is?
It's a boy. I know it. She always manages to have a cock inside her somehow.
Going out so taking the 2nd 1/2 of beer w/ me ont'tube in a Pringles tube. I give money to people on the street that have more self respect.
ever have one of those nights where you feel like you should leave the house with your insurance card? that is tonight, my friend.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Way to high for badminton right now. This is gonna be a shitshow.
I just wanted to warn you I have strep throat incase I gave it to that guy we both hooked up with on New Years.
Saw a girl lying on her back next to a fire hydrant. Not sure if passed out drunk or sleeping under the stars
wait nvm its a dude
I still have the video of you three making soup in my kitchen and asking random people for permission DURING the party, not after like usually
Don't remember, didn't happen
I HAVE THE VIDEO YOU DICK IT HAPPENED
Note to self: trying to grow pubes back = worst decision of 2014 thus far
I told her my blood type was O Positive and we started making out. Bio majors are weird.
Randomize