how was that guy you hooked up with?
i used to think blowing a .05 was a good thing
he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
And then you told your sister how horrible of a friend I was because I couldn't get you cheese fries...
He just helps fat girls get exercise. One walk of shame at a time.
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I just found cold cuts in the blender. You and beefeater can no longer have unsupervised parties.
New justification for blow: drug week; 'how it's made'
Target doesn't accept your signature for your credit card if you draw a dick on the pad. Even of your name is Richard.
I'm proud of you, you were pretty classy last night, you didn't puke AND you didn't take off your shirt, except for those two times in the corner.
Just found out that his ringtone for me is a train blowing bc and I quote 'I know when you call I'm getting laid'
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OMFG "ASS" JUST STARTED PLAYING ON MY PHONE VIA PANDORA AS IM IN THE CAR WITH A CONGRESSMAN FUCKKKK
I may or may not of seen my high school physics teacher making out with my old high school boyfriend at the bar last night
He struggled for a second trying to unhook my bra and I said "4/10. Novice."
Just packed a snack to eat on the way to McDonald's. That stoned.
I had to explain to the doctor why I'm peeing blood. He still didn't believe a girl would have that much sex... You could feel the judgement forming in the room when I went into the details...
Damn, well a girls gotta get laid too
i woke up half naked on someone's pool lounge chair in a house that i don't know, with someone's phone number scrawled on my stomach. why do i hang out with you again??
You just listed two reasons.
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