Do you think people stop being hipsters when they're naked? because that's what my research shows.
You know you love balls. Don't act all "I-Don't-Love-Balls-ish"
just threw up in the bushes outside my lecture hall. sometimes i hate the freedom college gives you.
I love when I'm alone in the house. It's like pants were never invented.
Right, because I totally see myself driving all the way down there to fuck his world famous penis.
I just peed behind the dumpster and dedicated it to you. Can i call u?
a kid puked on the floor and instead of, you know, cleaning it they cut a square out of the carpet with a boxcutter and threw it outside
he told me it was like eating gods vagina.
And if you ever tell anyone that I have emotions ill kill you
This is my gift to your gina
I fell into a manhole last night, so there's that
I tried eating pop-rocks while giving him a bj, I honestly think I was more disappointed with the results than he was.
I'm in my math teacher's garage hiding right now because I fucked his son last night. It's fine
The guy in the room next to me just offered to hide the next dose of morphine he will get for his broken leg under his tongue and then swap it with me in exchange for a roll of the good toilet paper my parent brought for me last they visited. The psych ward is a lot more hardcore than I thought.
BITCH IT IS YOUR BIRTHDAY AND I'M STARTING ON A FISHBOWL OF LIQUOR WITHOUT YOU
I read that out. Group response is "Katie is hard as fuck."
WITH MOTHERFUCKING MONKEY MITTENS
Randomize
