i think my mom watched the whole time
No I remember falling down the stairs I just don't remember it hurting.
i really should have bought real food rather than condoms, olives, coleslaw and beer...
im proctoring the SATs right now and im still drunk from last night. i really wanna tell these kids that this fucking test doest mean shit and they will just be constantly drunk once in college.
No that's sign language, not a drinking game. I tried to join
Well if my looks don't work with her I'll eat the 50 nuggets to impress her fat roommate.
He kept waking up periodically throughtout the night to bit my ear and pass back out.
I was the last girl at the bar last night. It was like a battle royale between 10 guys.
You know me. Don't need roses, just dick and food.
No one wanted to hang out so vodka and I are hanging out
Would I be a horrible mom if I got a babysitter at 6am so I could go get laid.
Like I wasn't going to make out with the hot Australian sitting next to me at the Portland blazer game?
if wiping your ass w an envelope isnt the definition of hitting "financial rock bottom " then nothing is!
He's petting your head, we need to leave now.
so does the amount of bruises on my arms and legs mean we had fun last night?
Randomize
