oh yeah I'm gonna practice throwing up so I can be ready for Friday night. and Saturday. Beth is back, diaper and all.
the choice between paying your electricity bill and getting herpes medicine is a tough one.
Dude, dont worry about the lamb fetus in the fridge.
What?
Just dont open the beer drawer.
She was either really drunk or really not interested. Everytime I tried to ask her about herself she would respond with a line from Stepbrothers.
I mean besides the fact someone got stabbed, I still had a pretty good night.
I will seriously deflate and melt into the floor into a puddle of devestation, shame and vodka.
Well his ex just grabbed his dick and told him yep Ill call u later
I flashed the bar tender last night. Apparently I wanted a whiskey to go and that was the golden ticket. This is why I never come home
You can't Tinder AND have him bring you icecream in the same night. It messes with your vagina.
Rage-masturbating and then crying myself to sleep. Welcome to Wednesday.
That's not "anything", that's you deep throating a mozzarella stick.
You can be responsible and still be on that ho life
COME TO THE TOP OF THE MOUNTAIN AND I WILL GIVE YOU MY SAGE ADVICE.
IF YOU DIE ON LSD YOU DIE FOR REAL
We were trying to organize all the customers to hold a window pickle race. as of 10:37 pm last night we are no longer allowed in our McDonalds.
Randomize
