Damn. That makes sense
I know im like the sherlok holmes of sexual problems
So im using the back of a keystone box as notecard for my presentation
i kept drunkenly begging people i met to be in my facebook mafia
MTV running anti-sexting commercials is a slap in the face to everything our generation has accomplished.
Wow. This hand sanitizer smells awesome. It's like I just gave a handjob to a fruit basket.
I just flicked a lizard out of the window with a bud light in one hand and spatula inthe other...dont tell me you dont miss the south
The paramedics were not my fault this time.
Just saw a couple chasing each other on lawn mowers. Oh South Knoxville.
I`m watching Shallow Hal & Jack Black has better nipples than Jimmy's chick.
I just instagramed a picture of an ostrich in case you were wondering what I did with my night
He'll only communicate through snapchat with pictures of him holding his cat or his dick. Bit of Russian roulette opening them in public but I did it anyway.
I woke up in a stranger's bed wearing nothing but santa socks.
I don't like how my gyno is telling me how to live my life.
I noticed while having sex on Friday that I have great endurance. CrossFit works.
Just had a reminder come up that just said "Ham"
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