Why don't you ever send me any naked pics
GM filed for bankruptcy, all the dealerships closed, and it's june and I'm in jeans and a sweatshirt and I'm cold. What is the point of living in this state anymore?
It's amazing how much jurassic park has contributed to my life recently
I masturbated on the webcams with my bf yesterday then typed without washing my hands first... then my roommate used my laptop it was pretty priceless
My vagina is in bus station locker number 1465.You can go talk to it if u like -in the mean time I’m going 2show up drunk and embarrass u at work.
apparently I kept yelling at her that I wanted t-Rex sized lines. awesome
basically at this point ill snort whatever you put in front of me and just hope
He managed to get his pants on, so the cop just sat there facing us with his lights shining in the car. I made shadow puppets.
Let's get drunk and go to Walmart and just tackle people at random.
Beer bonging to Ave Maria
You are the funniest drunk Jew I know. Never in my life have I witnessed someone respond, "Is your dick kosher?" while being picked-up on.
Note to self: never fuck a Canadian, surprisingly highly disappointing
Accent: check. Hot body: check. 8" dick: check. Feeds me biscuits in bed after rampant sex: check. Should I continue with my "Why I'm not coming back to the States" List?
Video on mandys page of you drinking upside down was finally put up...too bad all the comments were about me and him fighting in the background while he screamed "BLOW BIG BETSY!'
you know maybe it wouldnt be so bad if it hadnt happened before. At least I didnt blow him this time
Randomize
