Cure to hiccups..road head..high five
then they high fived as they party boyed me. I was a policewoman sandwhich. I love you halloween.
I wish i could sleep and get drunk at the same time...those are my 2 biggest needs right now
Just saw two girls doing a walk of shame together. Slut bonding at it's best.
how are pickles made is in the google history again... why do you always wonder that, and forget the answer?
Never underestimate the healing power of vomiting and a bath.
I really super glued a paper bow tie to my body last night. I need to do less drugs.
He woke up licked his hand and put it on my vag and went back to sleep. This is twice this week and its only wednesday
YOU GOT KINKY WEIRD ICE CREAM HEAD ON FRIDAY DONT EVEN COMPLAIN.
I feel like you're the reason public nudity is illegal and generally frowned upon in society
So my booty call knows your bf. Apparently they were in jail together
Chipotle farts are not good for seducing boys.
you called me drunk last night to talk about summoning sex demons with magic WTF
I was drunk, but not drunk enough to forget I had some dude on his knees begging for forgiveness.
I don't know who he was but he was covered up with a shower curtain and ate a whole bottle of tums
Randomize
