just caught grandpa beating off in the living room
I just saw a man with a full beard and frosted tips
there is no god
Was it a mistake telling him I couldn't get the abortion until I was 2 months along on the first date?
I just said that Oprah is crazy and like 5 fat white girls jumped down my throat. I sat back and smiled.
i think i recognize dicks better than faces
So, I picked up my 7 ft tall lamp post and used it to close my door. I feel quite accomplished.
Saw an eatery called Rusty Taco. That sooo could be me.
Some drunk couple just made out on the sidewalk and it reminded me some sweet moments we have shared...
DDing is such a bittersweet job, just got the entire history of this girls hookup career
My vibrator challenges you to a duel.
my heart is telling me chinese, but my head is telling me beer.
We boned on a bench in a park, french people were walking by cheering us on. Totally acceptable
I tried to order champagne at IHOP last night
I think his dick was bigger than his dog
Just test drove the kilt for Justin's wedding. NEVER. WEARING. PANTS. AGAIN.
Randomize
