just rolled a joint with wrapping paper.. and you say i have no christmas spirit
Judging by the grocery store, everyone stocked up on frozen pizza and beer for the blizzard. If our generation ever faces doomsday, we'll go out smiling.
If you can't do the LSAT hung over. You can't do the LSAT. That's the real practice.
If im still in the bathroom puking when the sirens go off please distract the cops.
he had a dikembe mutombo jersey on, was swatting peoples drinks out of their hand and wagging his finger in their face everytime he did it.
I don't know who the girl crying at my kitchen table eating gravy from the KFC container is, but I feel like she could be my soulmate
I'd just like to say before I start drinking tonight that not only do I not find you attractive; I don't want to hook up with you, suck your dick, be your "suga mama" or have your babies. Please disregard any texts, phone calls or voicemails that say otherwise..
I like to think of you as more a magic eight ball of my life's journey?
she visited to give me a bj between clients. Social work at its finest.
hot boxing the bathroom at chili's. where the fuck are you, it's too big of a box for just one person.
I want a MapMyFart App, where I can mark every spot where I have ripped one. Like here.
As long as you keep bringing fries home, i'll keep being naked when you get home
Smoking a bowl in nothing but a flamingo thong.
I was so high last night I honestly think my tears were medicinal
your mission the party friday: cockblock me at ALL costs. I've cheated on my boyfriend twice. I feel like three times would be crossing some sort of line...
and no, I don't care how how hot he is
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