I mean I can't believe yesterday ended w/ your house getting firebombed. What an unexpected turn of events
how can u be prego again
So, it's like build-a-bear for your vag?
he picked an earring up off the bar floor and tried to give it to girls as a present.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you left a paper here that says 'to do list' but it looks like you just wrote "drink a bunch of cough syrup and watch Who's the Boss" like 60 times
Why did I wake up holding food tongs?
She told me she loves her boyfreind while she was giving me head. He must be a nice guy
No dude, I'm not naming my kid after your beard
Master Skywalker, there are too many of them. What am I going to do?
Hit on the one in the red shorts. The thirst is strong with this one.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yes dating, but it seems easier to just live in a perpetual state of Netflix, internet porn, and cheese.
There is no issue with you seeing me...morally or ethically. we'll update your resume anyway. I really need to have sex with you later. Really
my god I love twenty year old dicks
If he refers to me as slump buster one more fucking time.
Someone called asking about the gate code and I said "hashtag" for # instead of "pound." Ugh. I feel so dirty.
I had a dream that you were telling me how good you are at parkour and legit you were doing it just like Michael Scott...
Randomize