i am only reminding you that showing off your fellatio skills on vegetables is probably not an appropriate party trick
i have no idea who im with but someones making meatballs. im going to stay.
Training to be a housewife: cleaning the house and masturbating while cookies are in the oven.
he said he wants to do me james and the giant peach style. im afraid of what that means. but moderately excited. wish me luck.
Valentines day isn't about being a couple in love..... It's about chocolate and faking orgasms.
getting up at 8am to start drinking seemed like a much better idea before I had to wake up at 8am
I legitimately forgot how to blow my nose just now. Sleep might be handy.
I'll be there in spirit. Right there in your vagina.
Know what I do when I'm in that mood? Whenever anyone talks to me I just hiss like a cat. They go away.
I'm in the smoking section between a transvestite molly dealer and a group of juggalos. I shouldn't be that hard to find.
of fours songebofy did dknt stop believing
how legible are my texts
No, I found out he was gay when I walked in on him blowing the guy from the dorm room next to ours.
dude the water is back on, you can stop shitting under the tree . . .
the next morning his mother came in to tell me that she made breakfast. she told me to put my clothes on too. awkward.
He was someone so memorable that I'd completely forgotten he'd existed up to and during the encounter
Randomize
