so this chick screams out the name doug is bed..not to later do i find out doug is her vibrator
hello competition
your brother is wearing shin guards in the swimming pool. i have a feeling that this happens often
I had fun. Till he melissa etheridged my ass and came to my window.
Oh, I'm just lighting tennis balls and WD-40 on fire, what are YOUUU doing?!
Our logic class started an hour ago, I walked out and found my sister drunk, sitting down, eating m&ms, afraid to walk in... I want her life
the scent of your tears make me crave pizza
dude he passed out in the strip club on his birthday, WHILE he was getting a lap dance. That drunk.
Fuck edible panties there is a dress made out of bacon
I'm still pretty stoned. There are mini rice cakes in my robe pocket to snack on in the shower.
All I remember is sitting on your kitchen floor and playing with a banana like it was a viking ship.
Dude we gotta go back to your cabin. left glenn. he's calling me crying and still drunk
I'm in a corner eating carrots and drinking champagne. I've hit a new kind of low.
How is that low? I love carrots.
Look, you're talking to the wrong girl here. Tacos>dick always and forever
my life is like one bad, slutty lifetime movie.
My "birthday sex" consisted of approximately 25 seconds of him going down on me in the shower.
Randomize
