they started playing Don't Stop Believin' and you had a melt down because it wasnt the Glee version
im not an educated person. i just do things. and it works out in my favor
you got thrown out for pissing in a cup in the corner. you told one guy it was okay because you went to college and that he wouldn't understand
just had a memory of me telling homeless mark that it was the year of the bunny and he said "you da bunny, girl"
We left live chickens on the basement slip n slide. Good luck finding your car keys
And this is the part where I need you not to judge me. Remember that I have never seen a penis do that and that I have a weird sexual curiosity
I won't be able to make it. Too hung over. Can't hold down fluids. I'm in the bathtub trying to hydrate my body through osmosis. And yes, Tequila Tuesday is totally still on for tonight.
I'm drinking too much free beer
Thats like saying one owns too many kittens. It's not possible.
We love you just as you are but we might love you more if we didn't have to post bail so often...
I hope your fat roommate breaks the bunkbed and crushes you in your sleep
Do drug dealers work on Memorial Day?
The walk of shame is a lot easier when I'm at a music festival and it's 12 feet from his tent to my tent
You are living the dream.
This morning i put band aids over my nipples bc i was too lazy to put on a bra. Think I've reached a new low.
apparently in the middle of sex, i said "i just really love the food network i watch it every day"
Did you really have to freak out and get up half way through to put the cat in the closet?
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