Literally just as i started to cum the church bells next ot my house began to ring. either it was the most epic timing ever or god was watching and congratulating me
i am devastated. she was DTF and I was about to puke, i told her to wait outside my room for a second. Puked. Passed out woke up, she was gone. Found puke stains on my keyboard that seem to spell out youporn....
i dont think the girl sending me nudes is qualified to pass judgement on me
I had to step in when you tried to make it rain baking powder on my sister
Just beat 2 Norwegian women in beer pong. Never been so proud to be an American.
We blazed in her bathtub. All 5 of us. Not easy bro
Its not that I don't mind giving her as much as my penis as she wants, its the post sex cigarette I have to supply. Shits $9 a pack.
Put a tip jar next to your bed from now on.
Your good ideas are reason #4 we need to live together.
I can only only sleep there on nights I orgasm cause he snores so loud and if he leaves me hanging one more time ill probably cut off his dick from lack of sleep and frustration
I'm gonna guess ur still high cus last night at like 3am my pillows were morphing into cats and I kept trying to pet them
She said "I feel like I haven't reached my full potential" and I couldn't figure if she meant in life or with the weed..
We're doing a team debriefing of Saturday night in group text right now. As 75% of the female presence at that party we saw some shit.
I'd rather have snapchat than feelings.
He brought over a bottle of tequila and a box of donuts with the Plan B, so I guess you could say things are getting pretty serious.
Alcohol and IMDB don't always mix with 100% accuracy
Please don't give away my fajitas
Randomize
