i just fell asleep at my computer and i woke up and in the google bar it said delicious foods to eat
im pretty sure one of the guys i was dancing with at graffiti wrote on my back "you rock". now feel like a danced with a 5 year old.
Just made out with the bride... She was still in her dress & I was still in my bridesmaid dress, how's that for an album picture?!?
Soooo, if his status went from married to single and he deleted all the pictures of his kids does that mean he's up for dibbs?
incase your class ends early, there are three naked guys in our room. but don't get too excited, they're all gay.
all i remember is him tryin to explain to the girls how to effectively hit the strip club with their bfs
hes actually pretty persuasive when he drinks
Aaaand my life has been reduced to whether I can reach to flush my puke down the toilet using my foot. The answer is yes.
It's like the god of all feather dusters, but for your vagina
It really is the softest mustache
You got her pregnant one week before your vasectomy? You couldn't wait one week to cheat on me?
I'm good. We walked you back to my apartment and you demanded to eat the sandwich I made for him
well, unfortunately the rug burn lasted longer than the actual relationship
Anne is dead. totally passed out and was flat out in the street
You looked at the bouncer while you pissed on the front door of the bar and said...who the fuck are you?
When I woke up today i said I will NOT sleep with her. This morning I did the walk of shame into work wearing the same clothes... How was your Monday?
As long as there is beach, drink, dick, in that order. I’m in.
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