yo I wanna see you, bring that beard of yours
Ok I love you more. To infumty and beyong.
Dude, she introduced me to her best friend form Russia and she was a 10. Her other Russian friend was even hotter. How did communism fail?
You screamed for campus security to do something about the police officer who dumping ur 40
I met her tumbling down the stairs chugging Captain Morgan. I'm not sure why she has the better reputation either.
I have a king size bed, I guarantee multiple orgasms, and I'll give you a ride home in the morning. Respond quickly.
I let that bitch know in no uncertain terms I was taking the coke dealer in the breakup
Due to last night I think a roommate constitution should be made. The first law will be designed to prevent any chicks below a 4 to enter the house.
Dave called me blind fucking drunk thinking he was going to die from drinking with drake bell(wtf?) saying "it's all that drake motherfucker's fault" and later proceeded to tell me "you are my twitter"
Saw a dude last night at a strip club's bar eating canned pineapple and giving tootsie pops to the girls...
Did body shots with a guy... Ended up being the ref of my volleyball game... So that's why we won
Sleeping with him wouldn't be considered hoeing out... It seems more like babysitting.
My liver is preforming stress tests.
If I'm legally allowed to go to jail than I should legally be allowed to tell a cop to fuck off. Basic principles.
Yea, but did you really have to throw a sandwich at him??
And on the 323rd day without sex, God finally said let there be light...or love?
Randomize
