Different chick, same blowjob, same parking lot.
Just got kicked in the balls by a girl in tap shoes. Fuck EVERYTHING
Don't EVER smell your tampon
No, she passed out instead. I have the worst luck, its like Jesus is mad at me for having the same birthday as him
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So, since you're now a four night stand, I feel comfortable asking: Did I leave my sunglasses at your house? Or my underwear?
YOU ARE NOT A BOTTLE OF RUM THEREFORE I DONT KNOW HOW TO LOVE YOU
I just made SCOTCHSICLES. no further info is necessary
I'm about to ride on a tractor i have no time for you
I'm eating a subway sandwich in the bathtub because I don't want to move. God bless boys from Brooklyn
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just an FYI i'm going to get drunk as shit while you are on duty and attempt to not fall into the bathtub again.
Rodger that.
It's not a funeral, it's a celebration of life. Going commando AND braless is really just honoring him!
I'm the kind of gay who carries his anxiety medication in case the club scene gets too fierce
My fuck it list is complete! I finally got a firefighter!
she told me id be a great addition to their lesbian community and shes giving me sex eyes from across the room. come get me NOW
You can't hold me to anything I said last night; I was drunk on orgasms.
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